What I've Learned from Harry Potter

No, I don't read this crap! I've never even seen any of the movies. What I've learned from this little wizardy guy isn't the story he tells but rather the money he makes.

Did you know that people actually lined up to buy this stupid book?! I tried to get over to my local B&N on Friday night to pick up the latest issue of Old People magazine and I couldn't even get in the joint! Btw, if you're wondering why I don't just save a few bucks and get this via subscription, well, you just don't get it; when you get to be my age you just don't know if you'll outlive a 12-month subscription, and I sure as hell don't want Cashman to enjoy my fully paid subscription after I've kicked the bucket!

Anyway, back to the lesson learned... So it's all about getting people jazzed up as well as supply and demand. With that in mind, I'm now working on our own Harry Potter promotion down at the stadium. We're planning the big night for July 31st and we'll be playing an unknown team...I'm keeping it a secret for now just to add to the mystery. NO, DON'T LOOK AT OUR EXISTING SCHEDULE. I KNOW IT SAYS WE'RE PLAYING THE WHITE SOX THAT NIGHT, BUT THAT WAS BEFORE I CAME UP WITH THIS IDEA. IT MIGHT BE THE SOX, BUT IT MIGHT NOT BE...

Stay tuned. More details to come shortly. Boy, isn't this exciting?!