I told you we were back on the winning track yesterday! It's all because of me and my emergency team meeting. I plan to continue spreading the man love across the team every day to keep this 1-game streak alive!
There was a dark moment in last night's game though. Did you see crybaby Kyle Farnsworth's meltdown after Joe pulled him? That wuss threw his glove into the dugout. Actually, he tried to throw it into the dugout. He showed the same control with his glove that he has on the mound. My apologies to the fan in box 106, row 18, seat 7 -- if you'll bring the glove back to us we'll exchange it for something from our Chuck Knoboloch ball-in-the-stands collection. We might even let you have the coveted one that hit Keith Olbermann's mom in the face. (You'll find Farnsworth's glove is completely worthless on eBay, btw, so don't bother...)
Note to Farnsworth: Joe wanted to keep you in but I nagged him via my new iPhone (he's speed dial #3!). You're no closer, my boy! We had to get The Sandman in there before you caused another late-inning implosion. Once again, I made the right call.