Saturday, August 18, 2007

Me? In the Hall of Fame? You're Making Me Blush...Sort of...

Hey, have you seen this incredibly insightful and brilliant article by Wallace Matthews, my new favorite reporter? He's lobbying for me to get into the baseball Hall of Fame.

Gee, I don't know what to say...other than yes, I definitely deserve it and if you believe all those reports about my health, you bastards on the HOF committee better take action soon!

To tell you the truth, I didn't even know I did all those things Matthews says about my career in that article. As I read it I kept thinking, gee, this guy is really special. What do we need to do to get him, er, me into the Hall of Fame?

I don't know how to make it happen, but I'm gonna make a few calls and see if I can get this Matthews fella a raise. He's certainly more deserving of my hard-earned cash than Jason Giambi, I can tell you that much! (Speaking of which, what a wussy effort Selig turned in on the whole Giambi investigation! Not only is he not going to fine the oaf, Bud is actually patting the son-of-a-gun on the back! That's the last time I invite the commish to my place for drinks and skinny dipping!)


Anonymous said...

why would you want to skinny dip with selig george?

Fake George Steinbrenner said...

Hey there, Mr./Ms. Anonymous... You need to reserve judgment till you see the commish in a Speedo. He's actually got quite the svelte build under that suit and tie.