I've never had a "bad hair day." Ever. That's right. Look at this great picture of me from the '70's. Do you see a single hair out of place? No way!
Everyone's on me because I criticized the hairdo on that goofy actor who plays me in that damned ESPN miniseries. His hair looks ridiculous. Mine, on the other hand, looks fantastic. I mean, look at how the end flips back up so nicely.
Kinda reminds me of Marlo Thomas in "That Girl." Truth be told, that was one of my favorite shows. I used to fantasize that I was Marlo's boyfriend, Donald Hollinger. Ah, those were the days.
Anyway, one of my pet peeves is bad hair. I can't stand it on anybody, so you can only imagine how disturbing it is to see it on the clown that's playing me in this stupid show. I'll tell you what's worse, though...seeing that horrible hair on Cashman's melon every freakin' day! That guy's been losing his hair since the day he joined our club. Man, he needs a wig...and a complete makeover...